The truth comes out, as we knew it would, only to conceal a more pointless and vacuous version of the truth within itself. In other words, some twists are best left un-twisted, especially the ones slapped together from convenience and happenstance just to set up a belabored full-circle ending.
She tries to get her moisturized, callous-free hands on the royal riches while Hudge 1 has marital issues with her princely beau and Hudge 2 decides to get back with the guy she dumped off-screen between movies. Please, let this be the full extent of the relatives. Paradox I got yer paradox right here: How could a sci-fi—Western featuring Neil Young as a futuristic bandit roving the countryside in search of computer keyboards and Super 8 cameras feel like such a chore, even at 73 minutes? Young is, at best, conscious.
Call me when this gets the Disaster Artist treatment by the mids. Rosenthal takes The Road less traveled by, and unfortunately, it makes all the difference. The poor judgment extends to casting as well, with Whitaker acting circles around James.
I Am Mother As with Orbiter 9this film also toys with the makeup of the Passengers blueprint, only sans the artful CGI that kept the former from total worthlessness. Distant future, uninhabitable world, hermetically sealed environment, last living girl Clara Rugaardandroid caretaker, you know the drill. Not even a voice performance from Rose Byrne as Mother can bust through the thicket of boredom; for all we know, her contribution could have been literally phoned in.
I demand to know who loved Passengers enough to have planted the seedling for this emergent trend. Maria Like a DJ set curated from the refuse bin at a record store condemned by the U. Korn-knockoff nu-metal, screamo, idiot-rawk like Andrew W. Such a baggy setup would suggest a display case for an elevated level of fight choreography or cinematography, but director Pedring Lopez and DP Pao Orendain forgot to come through with that much.
That brief sentence does in twenty-odd words what takes the first act of this French shootout jamboree about half an hour, far too long to spend getting ready for the extended siege that could contain the film in toto. The eventual whirring of the big sawblade, only a matter of time from its first appearance, hardly makes a dent. The script busts out every antiquated stereotype in the book, with plenty of unimaginative caricature to go around for the Jews, the Muslims, the LBTQ community, and whoever else might be curious enough to watch this best-forgotten cringefest.
Stave off the shakes with this Prince and the Pauper- style trifle that sends Vanessa Hudgens to the Belgravian palace to compete in a reality show that is pointedly not related to The Great British Bake-Off. Belgravia seems to be in Eastern Europe, though everyone has a crisp British accent, and Belgravia is a real place in the U. Just something to consider as you wait for the movie to end.
Dry Martina It is with a heavy heart that I must report that the title of this motion picture is indeed a pun, that the main character is a woman named Martina Antonella Costa and that she has literally gone dry down there as a result of her recent lack of sexual attention. The once-vivacious singer regains her zest for life when a woman claiming to be her long-lost sister pops up with her Don Juan-ish boyfriend in tow.
Martina wastes no time luring the guy to bed, spoken-for as he may be, and setting off on what could be fairly characterized as an erotic rampage. It all sounds much saucier than it ends up being, with too much time frittered away on life-coach-type gum-flapping about finding yourself. Something snaps when he has to move his family from their chi-chi Barcelona penthouse into a mid-grade rental, and he soothes himself by periodically sneaking back in to his former abode.
As he further insinuates himself into the lives of its new inhabitants by making contact outside the home, a psychothriller takes shape, though it happens to be an ungainly oblong shape. Is this what Jesus died for? Anyway, Hudge and her literal knight in shining armor Josh Whitehouse bring out the best in one another, him exposing her soft caramel center as she shows him modern ways of following the chivalrous code.
Greg Pritikin, director of the criminally underseen Adrien Brody vehicle Dummyplugs Chevy Chase and Richard Dreyfuss into the the machine that takes in geriatric acting legends and spits out toothless jokes about dentures. Orbiter 9 Only God and Ted Sarandos will ever know why, but Netflix seems to be willing to buy up just about any sci-fi project it can get its Helpless - Jesse Malin - Star Smile Strong (DVD) contracts on. Director Hatem Khraiche sees the putrid foundation of this premise more clearly than Morten Tyldum ever did, but the lack of star power as a serviceable distraction leaves the match-up a wash.
But unlike their Step Sistersthe racial dynamic gets downplayed by a script that wears its multiculturalism without drawing attention to it, and unlike its French sibling Battleit is nearly two hours. How easy would it be to go week-by-week through the caseload of Amaia Salazar Marta Etura, back again as she follows the trail of dead babies and fortune-bringing hexes?
The Highwaymen You may think that Bonnie and Clyde were a pair of sexy, morally ambiguous counterculture types thumbing their nose at John Q. I give them a year! The unrestful ghost of Norbit shows its silicone-and-rubber face to Marlon Wayans as he assays both straight-man Alan as well as his five siblings: the seemingly progeria-stricken Baby Pete, the voluptuous Dawn, the jive-talking Ethan, the flatulently obese Russell, and the fair-complexioned Jasper.
Wayans is nothing if not consistent, albeit in his reliable tendency to reach for the lowest-hanging fruit in any given scene. It is truly a remarkable thing, how little chemistry a man can have with himself. Holiday in the Wild For those right-thinking souls well aware that Western colonialism in Africa is and was wrong, but who still get the warm fuzzies at the thought of its aesthetics — khaki, white linen, the slight glint of sweat on the brow — has Netflix got a treat for you!
Kristin Davis puts a well-moisturized face on the scourge of voluntourism as a woman eating, praying, and loving her way to Zambia for a new start, and in a truer sense, for tax purposes.
Love your children, love yourself, and just go with Gnomeo if the offspring insists on diminutive-sized fun. See if you can guess where this is headed: A pretty and otherwise trait-free amnesiac Brenda Song wakes up in a hospital to find her husband Mike Vogelwho hastily notifies her that she has no job, family, or friends.
For those readers under the impression that the film would be above pitting these adult women against one another in a series of behind-the-back kvetch-a-thons, congratulations, you have given Poehler too much credit. She coasts through the production with the same minimum of giving-a-shit that Adam Sandler brings to his Grown Ups franchise, eating up what must be half an hour with karaoke-singalong scenes sent from the deepest reaches of hell.
Latte and the Magic Waterstone The third-string-est animators that Belgium and Germany had to offer came together for this talking-animal adventure with little to show for itself beyond one detour involving a mystical frog sorceress. The stone will restore water to a forest dying of thirst, a hopeful clue that some vitamin-packed environmental message may be in store for the kids watching. But the script, translated with a modicum of artful interpretive spirit, never really makes any overtures towards any theme-having at all.
That sounds like a wholly original horror concept — a commodity now more precious than gold — until Soraya falls back on Western visual language to bring the undead Suzzanna Luna Maya back to wheezing, dreadful life. However rooted in regional culture, this looks and moves like the least-attended title playing at your local AMC. Sometimes A notion that could be the stuff of great black-box theater turns into a limply mounted The More You Know advert in this single-issue drama imported from India.
From a Spanish border town on the northern coast of Africa to a Cameroon nature reserve and all across the Moroccan hinterlands, a collection of punishment sponges make their way through a smorgasbord of hardships. What about the mothers who never sleep, because their sons move to the city and never call? She gets to the bottom of it all, but by virtue of being the second piece of a trilogy as well as being largely unintelligible, it feels like more of the middle. Nicholas Hoult, to his credit, plays his reluctant soldier as a bit savvier than the usual bumpkin on a collision course with shell shock.
But otherwise, Brazilian filmmaker Fernando Coimbra contributes nothing novel to the conversation. And on top of all that, the gap in age and attractiveness between PM Rispoli and Senator Rossi is, in a word, noticeable. The way Aiman conducts himself, he deserves to end up with no one, the most glaring shortcoming of a script that has no sense for romance, humor, or even basic human functioning.
During a big night-on-the-town send-off for Jenny Gina Rodriguez with ride-or-dies Blair Brittany Snow and Erin DeWanda Wise before she relocates to San Francisco for a choice Rolling Stone gig — please suspend all disbelief at the door — the gal pals talk in a pidgin of buzzwords and catchphrases that vaguely resembles a trending-topics chart. For us, that just means another talking animal cartoon to be stuffed into the toy chest with the rest of them, with a voice-dub cast of talents significantly less likely to enthuse a child.
Unless the thought of a dog doing a Super Mario-style Italian accent tickles your funny bone, best to stick with the goodly number of name-brand alternatives. Eligible bachelor Sunny Vikrant Massey has been assigned the hand of the blushing Ginny Yami Gautambut she wants nothing to do with him, so he teams up with her mother Ayesha Raza Mishra to get her on board.
The unchallenged conservatism also extends to the rest of the film, which pulls the old Bollywood trick of passing off its paucity of well-honed dialogue with layer-cake spectacle.
Mehdi Sami Bouajila inserts himself into one such scenario after doing a dime and a half in the clink, keen on collecting the money his former mates have been holding for him. The lone moment that does do so — it involves an eye-gouging for the ages — then gets usurped by another reminder of how lovely Phuket is. The actors seem to have paid their travel agents as much as their talent agents. But to suggest that Game of Thronesthe most popular thing in the world, is the sole province of mouth-breathers?
Come now! Knowing that the Hulk was at one point grey is pretty Week 1 in the grand scheme of nerdery. This Turkish girl-meets-boy story proves otherwise, showing that not everyone can share the chemistry of Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy.
Instead of finding common interpersonal ground through their thoughts on literature or philosophy, they mostly discuss their respective relationship dramas — the very thing Linklater omitted, knowing that it would intrude on the sexy bubble the characters share. Each septuplet gets to stray out in the world under a shared identity for one day of the week, though they all have one distinctive character trait, Multiplicity style.
A ludicrous conspiracy plot linking government officials and nefarious schemes to control the populace through resource withholding gives the film shape, explained through endless and interminable dumps of exposition and implausible turns of plot.
Of course Glenn Close did it. Glenn Close always did it! Upstarts Silicon Valley has come to India over the past decade, with a windfall of venture capital funding turning scruffy college graduates into millionaires practically overnight. He treats the trio of college buds Priyanshu Painyuli, Chandrachoor Rai, Shadab Helpless - Jesse Malin - Star Smile Strong (DVD) like a garage band hitting it big: the de facto frontman gets an offer to go solo from a corporate sleaze, the trio almost breaks up, but they remember the importance of staying true to the music.
The singular Berliner sense of humor also informs this feature spinoff rejoining Lolle as she does a number of other things. That traffic jam synopsis betrays creator-turned-screenwriter David Safier as a born showrunner without much of a sense for plotting in feature form. It does not help that the writing is punishingly unfunny. As young adults, they return to the house where they grew up following the death of their parents, and Alia starts to get a much clearer bead on the phantoms her sister once screamed about.
Realized with a inadvertently charming lack of technical polish, the film cycles through the usual haunted-house tricks as steadily and as predictably as a carnival ride. Ali lies to his family about his med school test scores and sets a series of farces in motion, all as he pursues his crush Dianne Helenna Sawires in a lunge at personal agency. On the way to a banal final moral, director Stephanie Laing indulges in all manner of shameless emotional manipulations, the most egregious of which revolves around a rascally terminal patient portrayed by Christopher Walken.
He puts a brave face on while withstanding suffering, both within and without the context of the film. Rich in Love Red, juicy, and round, everyone knows that tomatoes are far and away the most romantic type of produce. This overripe Brazilian comedy following the scion of a vast tomato fortune hinges on the comic potential of the fruit or is it a vegetable? The playboy Teto Danilo Mesquita lies to his meant-to-be Paula Giovanna Lancellotti about being poor, so he goes Undercover Boss and starts as a trainee at his own company to find out how we common folk think.
The Last Hangover Brazilian YouTuber comedy troupe Porta dos Fundos sends up The Hangover with this Biblical takeoff, in which the twelve Apostles replace the Wolfpack, Jesus replaces the Helpless - Jesse Malin - Star Smile Strong (DVD) groom, and a steady hum of insipidity replaces the functional humor. The addition of another villain, rather than filling out a sparse film, succeeds only in feeling grafted-on and unwanted. Surely there are less taxing ways to look at muscle cars than this.
She leaves the film no more enlightened than she started it, as do we. Juanita Alfre Woodard gets her groove back in this menopausal comedy that just so happens to be written by her husband Roderick Spencer.
She catches a bus to Butte, Montana, presumably a choice vacation spot for the Woodard-Roderick family, then gets her blood pumping by rehabilitating a flagging restaurant and shacking up with its fetching Native chef Adam Beach. The Climb Ina French-Algerian free spirit who had never set foot on a mountain in his life summited Everest through sheer force of will. Forcing this story into the mold of a romance negates the inspirational overtones and makes Nadia into a trophy awarded to Samy right on cue.
My research suggests that some encoded details will make this a richer experience for Indonesians and those familiar with the culture. The best thing would be French acting legend Denis Lavant as the face-painted leader of that very cabal, going above and beyond his already lofty standard for goblinesque physicality.
Everything in between falls just out of bounds, or goes wide, or whatever the proper sporting metaphor might be for this particular occasion. Point is, the film stretches its 77 minutes to maximum length with a feeble blend of lesbian humor, out-of-nowhere cowboy-musical selections, and noticeably professional makeup effects.
Director Olivier Afonso, behind the camera for the first time, hails from the faux -gore department in a long line of Z-movies past. But even listing the incongruous elements making up this film runs the risk of piquing interest that it cannot generate itself.
Both the last-gen animation and writing that most kids would find childish mark this as a Vanguard production, one of the lesser-regarded cartoon houses for fair reason. Clinical Everybody knows therapists are just as unwell as their patients, but Dr.
Jane Mathis Vinessa Shaw has a little bit more going on upstairs than the usual head-case shrink. Take this Spanish-language con game transplanting Dirty Rotten Scoundrels from the French Riviera to a luxury cruise liner: The much-touted popularity of Like Father surely compelled Netflix to seek out other vacation-ship-based entertainment, and with scamming currently on-trend, this was a no-brainer buy.
Anon I was rooting for you, Gattaca director Andrew Niccol, we were all rooting for you! Niccol has been wise about future panic up until now, when he alternately ignores and simplifies the implications of a complete eradication of privacy.
He assigns a pat killer-on-the-loose plot to an intriguing hook, casting Clive Owen as the hard-nosed detective hunting a murderer off the universal grid, and Amanda Seyfried goes digital femme fatale as a woman mysteriously exempt from the omnipresent readout. Substitute teachers looking to keep eighth-graders busy for an hour would be better off with another Gattaca rewatch. Rowling and the Royal Family. Director Vicky Jewson does not, saddling Sam with emotional baggage that turns her own womanhood against her, and succumbing to her own paltry-budget limitations.
But without sufficient funding and off-screen talent, she never stood a chance. Howard has stripped away the political anthropology that posed Vance as the Republican-whisperer in favor of a plainer story about a boy who broke out of his Ohio holler to go be a lawyer at Yale. At last, the right and political left can join in harmony, able to agree that those Hollyweirdoes have no idea how the Real America lives.
In Family I Trust Light enough to be blown away by a single sneeze, this Spanish-language romcom sends another hapless single lady home to regroup and rediscover her inner goddess, or something. Those not immediately put off by the preceding sentence may have a better time with absolute ding-dong Bea Clara Lagowho kicks the film off by setting her man up with a foxy newscaster she knows he has a crush on and then flipping her lid when they hook up.
Bea finds refuge in the embrace of a widower with a souped-up hot-pink hot rod, the two perfect for one another in their equal proportions of dullardry. He falls off of a roof on December 24th and Helpless - Jesse Malin - Star Smile Strong (DVD) one year later, and then again another year later the next day, one Eve after the other. Because this is just about the same plot device as in the lesser Adam Sandler vehicle Clickour man Jorge learns the same lesson about how life consists of the less-than-fun moments we might try to pass by on autopilot.
Mercy Adult children tend to show their true colors when their parents reach their deathbed. With each brother blander than the next, however, the big reveal wields all the dramatic heft of a balloon. With his imitation-Blumhouse plainness, Domenico Emanuele de Feudis seems intent on not letting any of those predecessors in the national cinema influence his work or make it any more interesting.
It is a slight step down from his last feature effort, Threat Level: Midnight. A nosy cop Sasha Alexander goes from thinking she did it, to thinking that her boyfriend Jessie T.
Usher did it, to something near the needlessly muddled truth. Learning what really went down feels a bit like finishing a maze on the back of a cereal box — the satisfaction of resolution, severely limited by a lack of any deeper meaning.
Rock My Heart Hold the damn phone — another work of hardcore inspiration-porn about a spunky white girl overcoming a debilitating medical condition to attain her equestrian dreams?
The broken bones have been exchanged for a heart condition and the older mentor has more bite, but aside from the language barrier, this film clip-clops along the exact same hoof tracks as its horsey forefather. Which was, itself, following the trail of The Rider. Who will defend this Helpless - Jesse Malin - Star Smile Strong (DVD) creature, so overtaxed as an analog for ornery characters learning discipline and control in bush-league indies?
Have some mercy, directors, and cease beating a dead — oh, well, you know. Director Bartosz M. Kowalski is very late to the game, his attempted revitalizing of scary-movie tropes lagging behind the likes of Cabin in the Woods. Six stabbable teens venture into the most foreboding woods Poland has to offer for a phone-addiction deprogramming summer camp, only to be stalked by a pair of boil-covered twin Helpless - Jesse Malin - Star Smile Strong (DVD).
And super-jumping. Director Francesco Lettieri never draws attention to the qualities making the Apache culture its own, in particular the faint fascist associations stoked by their iconography. A gangster movie by any other name…. Music Teacher Not to paint India or its cinema with too broad a brush, but it sure has plenty of movies about developmentally stunted men getting in touch with their feelings because of the efforts of tolerant, accommodating women.
Take Beni Manav Kaulan educator with a chip on his shoulder and unrealized fantasies of musical superstardom. To make matters more agonizing, his former pupil Jyotsna Amrita Bagchi announces a homecoming concert after eight years of making a name for herself at the uppermost pop echelon.
Will they find love? Erotic-thriller sex should be scary in a hot way, not scary in a 50 Shades of Grey way. In this version, the hawklike Mrs. Danvers Kristin Scott Thomas delivers a climactic monologue laying bare the nature of her devotion to the former Mrs.
Shimmer Lake Smarter than the average Coen Brothers ripoff looking at you, Cut Bankthis one has the good sense to also be a Memento ripoff. A little bit of money. Time to Hunt In a post-financial-meltdown Korea of the future, a trio of slick operators plan to liberate a giant block of American dollars from a gambling house.
But this is a heist film that gets that part out of the way early on, spending most of its two-plus-hours on the blood-spattered fallout once the former owners of that money send a contract killer to get it back. With drab monochromatic color-filters, director Yoon Sung-hyun conceptualizes a dystopia with nothing to show for all its catastrophes, no notable features to make it anything other than an anonymous entry in an overstuffed genre.
Director Detlev Buck who also appears as a wheelchair-bound ally to the crooks seems to be aiming for the wound-up, non-stop energy of an After Hoursbut the environ our man must hustle through has all the detail and personality of a level design in an especially violent video game.
Throwing more money at a production rarely solves problems, but for a premise that wholly orients itself around the near-pornographic gazing upon military weaponry — much of it fantastical, engineered with futuristic technologies explained at length — looking good is everything.
The real infante takes over his body and has to prove himself a reformed man, an objective that mostly leads to advances from an unending stream of adoring women. A pitchy lead performance, in conjunction with a punitively jammed-up concept, consign this Infante to cinema hell. Reilly acted as a receptacle for the alienation from every aspect of modern society that would ultimately drive Toole to suicide; Jodi is six-foot-one. Director Nzingha Stewart overestimates the disadvantage that a few extra inches would give this conventionally attractive young woman in what the film makes out to be an adverse search for someone to love her, size thirteen Nikes and all.
At one point, our giraffe heroine complains about how hard it is to be tall to her factory-issued best friend — who is black! Read the room, Jodi! Uncorked Of the many different types of stories about being good enough at something to make it out of your stifling neighborhood — dancing, rapping, basketball — at least wine tasting gets points for novelty.
Director-writer Prentice Penny then loses those points with her dumbed-down approach not just to the art of vino, but to the agony and ecstasy of striving. To All the Boys: P. Brain on Fire Susannah Cahalan had it all: a great job writing for the New York Posta devoted boyfriend, bright prospects.
Writer-director Francesco Carnesecchi has the good sense to structure the entire thing within the space of the game, punctuating for flashbacks and digressions, instead of leaving the game as a played-out climax. On both counts, the answer is a confidently intoned yes.
And that title? The title is an enigma more engrossing than the film containing it. Nanki Kiara Advani must do some soul-searching after her boyfriend VJ Gurfateh Singh Pirzada gets accused of rape by Tanu Akansha Ranjanputting her heart in direct conflict with her feminist principles. The film gets there altogether too easily, missing the whole point of how nasty such cases can become as quotes tell opposing narratives, offering a vision of a kinder world for which none of us has any real use.
Send it back to hell! Coin Heist Coins are amazing — designed using lasers, mass-produced through an elaborate assembly line of casting and forging, inspected down to the tiniest detail for flaws so minute only professionals can see them, and all for something we keep in our pockets only to trade for chewing gum. Report this Document. Description: The u. Flag for inappropriate content. Download now. List of Amc. Related titles. Carousel Previous Carousel Next. Finding love is a challenging quest even in your home country.
Dating in Germany will either make it more so or raise the chance to finally get the partner you've been looking for all along. Dating for expats info. Living in Germany is an incredible opportunity to rediscover and reinvent yourself, including the romantic side of your life. Transcending cultural differences and customs is just a small step to achieve that. Online Dating Guide. Online Dating. In a perfect world, you and your soulmate would bump into each other on the streets of Germany, lock eyes, and fall madly in love the next second.
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